That’s all I hope!

· I think this is the original. Henry McLemore in the San Jose Evening News - Nov 2, 1943 see: http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1977&dat=19431101&id=7YMiAAAAIBAJ&sjid=OaQFAAAAIBAJ&pg=1190,2548439 If you do look up the San Jose Evening News article, I found it easiest to read the article by using "full Screen". If anyone is able to create a useful pdf of that article, I'd enjoy having it.

· This is from one of those “Does anyone know?” sites: http://www.funtrivia.com/askft/Question88617.html "I think I may have actually found this". . . . .

http://flyfishergirl.blog.com/2005/12/

Pretty Damn Seldom
By J. P. McEvoy [wrong author attribution in the San Jose Evening News and] printed in Reader's Digest:

It was a Chinese traveler who evoked the magic formula which makes quarrelling almost impossible for my wife and me. One day, late for his train, he rushed over to the station baggage room, threw his check on the counter and demanded his bag. The attendant couldn't find it. As precious minutes went by, the Chinese [man] finally could stand it no longer. He pounded the counter with his fist and yelled: "Pretty damn seldom where my bag go. She no fly. You no more fit run station than god sake. That's all I hope!"

Nov 16 07, 9:44 PM

This one contains one person's description of using this quote as a buffer for anger in his relationship with his spouse.

· http://reneesletterstonowhere.blogspot.com/2007/04/pretty-damn-seldom.html

Letters to Nowhere

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Pretty damn seldom....

I happened to think of this today, and it sort of reflects how I anticipate my married life will be. I came across this on a thin sheet of old typing paper, written up decades ago [by someone else].

I remember when I was little how my mother used to say that a soft answer turneth away wrath, but I always thought Father's system...a gay answer...was better. Later I discovered the best system of all, and I don't mean no answer; for you don't get anywhere in married life not having an answer.

It was a Chinese traveler who evoked the magic formula which makes quarreling almost impossible for my wife and me. One day, late for his train, he rushed over to the station baggage room, threw his check on the counter and demanded his bag. The attendant couldn't find it. As precious minutes went by, the Chinese finally could stand it no longer. He pounded the counter with his fist and yelled, "Pretty damn seldom where my bag go. She no fly. You no more fit run station than god sake. That's all I hope!"

Before hearing this, when anything of mine got mislaid around the house, I used to scream like a wounded banshee. But now I merely holler, "pretty damn seldom where my papers go!" In the old days, my wife used to come back snappily with, "IF you put your papers where they belong, you'd know where to find them!"-which is sheer nonsense.

I found the only answer to such a remark was, "You no more fit run house than god sake!", which put her in her place, until she learned to retort, "That's all I hope!", stopping the argument.

In silly old days I used to moan, "Why don't you fill out your cheque stubs properly?" Now I just say, "Pretty damn seldom where my money go. She no fly." And I get just as far as I ever did, which is exactly nowhere. As for the children, we never quarrel anymore about who is spoiling which. One of us merely look at the other and says in a resigned way, "you no more fit run children than god sake!" Which nobody can deny.

Well, there it is. Pretty damn seldom where you happiness go. She no fly. But if you don't try this next time instead of quarreling, you no more fit run marriage than god sake.

That's all I hope.